2020. A new year. A time to reflect. A time to change.
A couple of weeks ago, I sat in my room, journaling, pretty much not able to do anything else in the aftermath of getting my wisdom teeth removed. In that quiet hour, I reflected in my time at university and all of the ways God has worked in my life this past year. Yes, it was crazy battling the ups and downs of college life but one thing never changed–God never changed. A little poem whispered in the back of my mind:
Look where you’ve come from.
Look where you are now.
Know that you’ve grown.
Know that I’m proud.
Yes, my 2019 was a roller coaster of a time. There were highs of traveling and hearing God speak. There were the joys of understanding as I got in touch with people who nudged me closer to my calling. There were great days that I spent with my family, days I hope I will never forget. But there were also lows, lows of broken plans and broken promises. There were days of utter sadness when I felt the whole world was against me. There were dark times when I felt I couldn’t pick myself up after I failed.
And I did fail. Miserably. Hopelessly, at times. But time after time, He showed me how to get back up. God brought people to my life to remind me of His perfect grace, friendly and warm faces who spoke words of wisdom in the midst of my brokenness. And through those failures, I’ve grown.
Hope. Worthiness. Confidence. Love. Presence.
These are the areas I’ve seen myself grow in this year. Hope in every circumstance. Worthiness in understanding that my worth is rooted in Him. Confidence in knowing that He’s got it all covered. Love for His people as I seek to see the world as God sees it. Presence in sitting quietly before God daily.
Grace. Dependence. Joy. Patience. Faith.
These are the areas I want to grow in this year. Grace to face the difficulties. Dependence on Him in the times I can’t bear to do anything but cry. Joy in understanding that His plans are continuously perfect. Patience for myself during those times of brokenness. And faith in every single moment.
Looking back, I can see it clearly, but in the moment, how I was growing was so difficult to see. And yet, God remained faithful. I’ve won some, I’ve lost some. But that’s how life is. As I walk into the new year, I am reminded that trusting and growing, this is a daily thing.
Daily. Daily, I must offer myself to Him. Fully and faithfully. That’s my goal for this year.
In our celebration of the new year, it’s easy to forget the growth that has happened last year, instead focusing on the change we’d like to see. This is my challenge for myself this year. To remember and step forward, offering myself daily to Him. And this is my challenge to you as well. Take a minute, before the rush of crossing off your resolutions, and remember. Make a list of 5 areas you’ve grown in and thank Him for showing getting you there. Make a list of 5 areas you want to grow in and pray that Him will guide you clearly. This is my prayer for myself. This is my prayer for you.