Change. It happens to all of us.
Sometimes it’s quiet, a small whisper of a wave etching in the corners of my mind until I look back one day and suddenly see the change that came over years of sculpting.
But sometimes, it’s loud and blaring, a strong freight train hurdling itself towards me while I’m stand frozen on the tracks. There’s nothing I can do but face the train and pray it doesn’t hurt.
This year, I can already see, hosts a freight train of change. And when I heard the shriek of the horn and the thundering of the wheels against the tracks, I admit I had a pity party.
Why now? Why me? What happens next? Was I wrong? What about the plans? What about ___? Unanswered questions rattled inside my head until I found myself crying in the middle of a new year’s party, mourning the plans I thought I had.
Change is something that we seek, especially during the new year. But sometimes it happens to us, a result of decisions that we couldn’t have influenced and didn’t really want. But either way, change is God’s instrument, a tool to bring us closer to Him and His plans for us.
There are some questions that catch a ride on that train called change, questions we may never find the answers for. They are heavy and difficult and not fun to think about. They come with difficult or invisible answers. But I don’t think those answers or those questions are the point of it anyway.
How willing are you to being open to His plan, even if it’s vastly different from the plans you had? Will you have a pity party in the midst of celebration like I had done that New Year’s night? Or will you grab onto His promise, the promise that He has perfect plans, and surrender your life to Him? It’s hard, I know. I’m not saying that the train won’t hurt when it hits. But, there is comfort in remembering that it’s not up to us anyway. I have no control over what happens to my friends or my family or even myself. I only have control over how I respond.
God, I want to let go of the fear that comes with change and the unknown. I want to trust You because only You know where that freight train called Change will go. I want to trade my plans and expectations for Your perfect plans and goals for myself. Teach me how to trust. Teach me how to let go. Show me that You’re good. Show me where that train will go.