A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a journal prayer to God as a reflection of Job, myself, and the context of the crisis. While I normally don’t share prayers like this, I think it’s a good representation of what I’m feeling and what I’m learning during the uncertainty of this time.
“There was a man in the land of Uz whose name was Job, and that man was blameless and upright, one who feared God and turned away from evil.”Job 1:1
Job was a humble servant before You. He ran his household to worship You and he cared enough about the spiritual condition of his children to offer burnt offerings every morning after his children were out just in case they had cursed you even in their hearts.
And yet, You allowed disaster to fall at his door. Job lost all of his oxen, his donkeys, his servants, his sheep, his camels, and his children all in the same day. His wealth, his future, his children were all gone in a blink of an eye. And yet, you allowed it because You knew the outcome. It wasn’t a battle against Job, but a spiritual demonstration of Your control, power, and knowledge.
Job could have cried and argued. But here, in his greatest moment of grief, he tore his robes, shaved his head, and worshiped You. He worshiped.
LORD, I have not lost everything. I have my family. I have a home. I have good school and a hope of the future. I have not lost anything significant in this time in history. And yet, I have thrown a pity party. I have gotten upset and held a grudge. I reached down and pulled out past hurt and bundled them in pride.
LORD, forgive me for my foolishness. Forgive me for trying to yank the reins of control from Your hands. I do not know how You are working now. But I do know that life is better when the reins of life are held securely in Your hands.
LORD, teach me to hold life’s possessions loosely as they are nothing compared to You. Teach me to sacrifice it all for You.
“Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The LORD have, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.”Job 1:21
Recently, I’ve explored praying through the Scripture. So often I’ve found that the feelings I have and the troubles I face have been experienced before. After all, there is nothing new under the sun. I believe that the Bible provides examples of how we should and should not respond in the midst of trials. And more than that, those Scripture stories include the good, the bad, and the humbly honest. This prayer is in part based on Job but you’ll see other Scripture references too. I encourage you to find comfort in this prayer but also in the testimonies of the Scripture. Because I am not the only one to have felt alone from God. I am not the only one to have struggled to see His peace or His plan. The Psalms are filled with praise but they also hold deep prayers of desperation. There is a time and place for both.